'This is a test,' Wark muttered as he got off his fully loaded touring bike at the shaded picnic table at the convenience store, Nowheresville, Wyoming. 'It's a test.'
Our hero, Pete, looked at Wark and mentally did a full-body shake. 'Well, it can't get any harder than this,' he said.
'What are you talking about, the weather app says sustained wind of 19 mph this afternoon?', asked Meri.
'It'll be fine!'
They'd spent 48 miles to that point generally in a headwind that varied from 5 to 10 mph, mostly climbing, as this day was the first day of a two-day climb of the Togwotee Pass, a pass excoriated not for being necessarily the hardest pass, but for going on forever. In this case they had a headwind, and it didn't show any sign of shifting.
Pete pulled out of the convenience store parking lot and immediately the beautiful road surface disappeared; construction had gotten to the point of removing the road surface, but not putting anything back. This was painful!
This was painful in a literal sense. Pete had started the current bike tour 2700 miles ago w/ a Brooks Cambium saddle, which has the advantage of being impervious to rain, but had a hard textured surface that never conformed to the buttock. This proved to be a mistake which he corrected a couple weeks later, but this was still the most painful trip he'd taken since 2008.
The unsurfaced road continued for miles. Pete noticed a section about a foot wide inside the road lines that looked smoothed out. Carefully watching through his mirror he moved out into the lane and found Yes! it was better. However, this was just in time for the road to pitch up again, as we were supposed to be climbing uninterrupted the rest of the day. The ACA's elevation profile showed the climb to be uninterrupted.
The grade went from 20 3%, up to 5 0x0p+0nd back down. None of this was unexpected nor hard in and of itself. However, the wind seemed pegged at 15 mph, and every once in a while one of those 30 mph gusts would hit.
Pete continued, stopping occasionally, for another five miles before the right hand lane got pavement. The rest of the group, Wark, Gilliam, and Meri, hadn't appeared behind him on the last hill yet, so he was clearly out in front a bit. Jis and Chrayn were at least a hill out in front.
The return of the pavement was heaven. Yes, the grade was still 3-5%, but it seemed doable without the endless teeth-clenching rattling.
'I can do this,' our hero muttered with clenched teeth. Fifty-five miles in, w/ 20-odd to go, it was the only choice. There was nothing between Lander and Dubois (pronounced 'dew boys'), they had to get to the other end.
The hill pitched up; the pedaling became harder. Pete's knee began to hurt, his breathing became ragged, and the hill pitched up again.
Then inexplicably the road pitched down, and out of nowhere a tailwind appeared. The elevation profile didn't show the downhill, how could it be there?
Pete checked his bike computer; still on route. It had no business being here, but for a half mile the route had varied between level and down 3%.
Pete stopped thinking about it. Clearly, claiming that nothing could get harder had caused the climb to be harder, so taking no notice of the downhill seemed the safest approach.
Then, ahead a bit, a white splotch appeared. It was a bridge; a bright abomination on the face of Pete's determined disbelief. Bridges meant change, usually that a downhill on one side would match an uphill on the other.
Pete refused to look at the bridge, and especially refused to look past it. If he didn't see it, it didn't exist, at least not yet. The problem was that this white festering sore on the surface of reality was calling to him. He'd look away and his gaze would creep back.
The road was visible on the other side, but even when his eyes darted towards the abomination on their own accord, he refused to think about what he had seen. What isn't known, could change.
Still on a gentle downhill, Pete hit the bridge without having seen past, and immediately after the bridge.....the road canted up. In dispair he looked up, only to find that the road reached a summit in less than a quarter mile. He could do it! The bridge had not destroyed him, and he only had a quarter mile to redemption!
But unclenching was hit undoing. To relax meant he could no longer keep up the pace, and was soon stopped on the shoulder looking for the energy additive to add to a water bottle. Caffeinated water secured and consumed, Pete continued.
Thirteen miles left, and the road pitched up again, the wind careening down the valley blasted right in his face, and yet he was determined.
Ragged from the climb, ragged from the cursed headwind and still ragged from the construction-blighted road in combination with the constant traffic, Pete clenched his teeth and doubled down on his claim.
'It can't get any worse than this, goddammit!' he ground out between clenched teeth.
A cloud crawled across the face of the sun, and in the valley ahead, thunder rumbled.
CRASH-BOOM!
Pete tried to avoid the heavy downpour by huddling under a tree while simultaneously pulling a trash bag over his delicate leather saddle and extracting his raincoat from a pannier.
CRASH-BOOM!
Gilliam, Wark, and Meri huddled under the eave of an abandoned hotel as the heavy rain turned to hail.
CRASH-BOOM!
Jis and Chrayne were caught out on the open road, no possible shelter in sight, and so crouched down on the side of the road, holding their bikes and panniers in front of them to shield their faces from the oncoming storm, and the passing cars.
LIGHTNING FLASH!
A crack issued from the tree above Pete. He looked up.
LIGHTNING FLASH!
A lull in the deluge prompted Pete to jump back onto the road and a passing truck's bow wave sent him flying over the guardrail.
LIGHTNING FLASH!
Getting back on the road was hard, but with 13 miles to go there again was no other choice. Thirteen miles was doable regardless of the weather conditions.
He set out as the hail turned into a light drizzle. the traffic lessened and he was able pick up the pace, his alarm at his plight giving him strength. Up over the first small hill he plowed, to a slight turned that had him going straight at another cloud.
As if in recompense, the storm behind pushed him forward, the headwind becoming a strong tailwind, and he flew toward the oncoming cloud.
The road turned again, and he passed the cloud w/ only a slight spattering of rain.
Weaving from exhaustion, our hero put his head down and drove towards Dubois. Tune in next time to 'As the Wheel Turns....'